At first I thought the warning near the end of this paragraph was serious, and then I thought it was a little goofy, and now I sense a hint of sarcasm. Must . . . categorize . . .

Thanks to a war between European brewing companies, it’s never been easier to catch a healthy beer buzz. Or get yourself totally sloshed. In November BrewDog, a Scottish microbrewery started three years ago, released a new brand, dubbed Tactical Nuclear Penguin. The beer set a new record by weighing in at a scary 32% alcohol-by-volume, over six times the strength of familiar domestic brands like Budweiser. As explained on a cheeky video on the company’s website (warning: the clip contains simulated penguin sex), the brewery was able to attain such a high alcohol content for its product by freezing the beer at a local ice cream factory, at temperatures as low as -6 degrees, for 21 days. Alcohol freezes at lower temperatures than water, and removing water from the solution increased the alcohol concentration.

You can read the entire article here.

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* Oh, and that’s SARcasMOMeter, like thermometer, hygrometer, sphygmomanometer.

Is it me, or has CNN gotten really weird? It’s on the basement TV at school right now, and I’m struck by how informal it’s become since the last time I watched a 24-hour TV news network who-knows-when.

First there was a guy talking about the blizzard in the Northeast. He mentioned the rain in Southern California for a few sentences, then summed it up with “so the whole country is experiencing this.” Right. Okay, so that part wasn’t particularly informal, it just annoyed me.

Then the same guy and another CNN anchor (do they still call them that?), apparently in another studio, had a gripe session between themselves about how dumb the word “bipartisanship” is. They both leaned on their desks and made faces, and the lady actually rolled her eyes at one point. They agreed that Congress was being childish, and that everything would be okay if all of Congress went out and got drunk together.

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Good news! Google Scholar has added a vast swath of federal and state opinions, journal articles, and patents to its database. Huzzah!

As a law student, I have free suck-you-in-and-get-you-hooked full access to Lexis and Westlaw, but that will evaporate when I graduate**. Getting access to the pay databases through a firm is expensive and can be touchy, especially if you’re made to feel guilty for every minute you spend logged in and every case you print; the expense can keep smaller firms and solo practitioners out of the easy-online-access game altogether.

I’ve spent a few minutes poking around Google Scholar’s legal offerings by looking up a case we’re discussing tonight in Professional Responsibility: Gaspard v. Beadle, 36 S.W.3d 229. It’s worth a skim, even if you’re not used to reading cases; sex, betrayal, and a UH Law grad in the role of the asshole lawyer make for a juicy story.

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The front page article on CNN.com right now is that Mitt Romney is, according to the latest polls, the leading Republican presidential candidate for 2012. Front. Page.

No, okay? Just no.

We get a break. Even in a state the candidates largely ignore, I’m still sick of campaign coverage. If I had my druthers, anyone who actively campaigned for or reported on a presidential election more than six months before Election Day would be tarred and feathered. I know this wild dream of mine is inconceivable these days, but can’t we at least get two years off? A year? A one-year moratorium on election fuss is hardly too grand a request.

Pretty please?