Frustrated
Over the last few months I’ve stepped my Lexapro dosage down to 5 mg per day, which is less than the 10-mg test dose doctors first prescribe to make sure you don’t have a bad reaction.
I think, though, that I’m going to have to ratchet it back up to at least ten. I’ve been getting dizzy spells about every other day in the last week or two, and I feel like I’m extremely sensitive to anxiety triggers. Right now, for instance, I’m in Space Law listening to a presentation about all the disasters that have occurred on space missions. It’s interesting, to be sure, but I feel like I’m about to pass out. I know I won’t actually faint, but, as always, it’s unnerving.
As far as I can tell, this regression is mostly due to my having to get on four planes about a month from now. I’m flying to Nashville to see my brother graduate, then to Canada with John for vacation. Consciously I feel semi-okay with the plane thing, enough that I’m pretty sure I can go through with it, but apparently my subconscious has other ideas.
I hope that upping my meds will make me feel okay again. Once I get through the first two flights (on small-ish planes) I know I’ll be okay for the second two. Between now and then, though, I might be pretty miserable.
If anybody knows of any good resources that can help me to do some cognitive-behavioral-therapy-type stuff on myself, please share. Maybe I’ll go hang out at the airport a couple times, watch the planes take off. Rationally I understand that planes are extremely safe, but there’s something physical that goes on in my brain that triggers an anxiety reaction when I even half-think about a plane. Arrrrrrrgh.
Tags: brain pills, CBT, fear, flight, flying, Lexapro, medication, phobia
April 8th, 2010 at 6:22 pm
There’s nothing wrong with having anxiety about flying. My mom’s always been afraid of flying–she’s tried everything in the book and still would freak out. When I moved in at Scripps she and my sister took the train all the way from Minnesota rather than fly.
She managed to fly to my graduation using the only method that has worked–taking a strong sedative and being drugged out for the entire day.
April 8th, 2010 at 6:33 pm
I used to be really afraid of being on planes (I am afraid of heights in general and my point of view is that logic be damned when it comes to that fear), but as time went on I sort of got over it. Even small amounts of turbulence do not bother me anymore. I am not really sure what changed though. It might have started when I began sitting next to the window (I decided that the fear of looking at the window was worth the price of not having anyone crawl over me). Now I really like looking at the clouds and the ground, especially at night.
I also find myself thinking about this problem that my students have had to do, where they must explain why a plane has to tilt when it makes a turn. That explanation runs through my head pretty much every time the plane turns.
I do not know anything about the medication that you are on, but I do know that I will go through phases where I will very dizzy one or two times a day for like a week. It happens every month so I have always assumed that it was caused by the obvious. I think it gets worse the more stressed I am about school. It was so bad that I actually went to the doctor (who was useless) about it.
Anyways, I think that was more of a ramble than anything useful …. I really hope you feel better.
April 8th, 2010 at 10:48 pm
I don’t know, I think there is something wrong with having anxiety about flying. It’s not rare, for sure, but it sometimes keeps me from doing things I otherwise want to do, and of course it makes me physically sick in the weeks leading up the flight. I want to get over it.
My plane phobia, or whatever people call it, has gotten worse over time. As a little kid, I didn’t mind planes at all, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten more and more anxious about them. On the last flight I went on, a little over a year ago, I sobbed my way through most of the airport and asked John to take me off the plane after we’d sat down. He did not, to his credit.
I’ve heard good things about Nyquil, etc., so I might give that a shot.
@Shannon: If you think your dizziness is anxiety-related, and you don’t want to go on meds, I can tell you that avoiding caffeine and trying to get more exercise when I feel sick has helped me a little. Anything to burn off the adrenaline.
April 11th, 2010 at 10:02 pm
When I found myself crippled by plane anxiety, I would go on YouTube and watch airplane wing tests (just search for “wing test”) where they basically test how much pressure and stress needs to be applied to a wing before it will snap off. This actually made me feel a lot better.