Still Got It
This is my week for getting hollered at by guys in cars, it seems.
Saturday morning John and I were at our apartment-to-be (more on which later, if I remember) signing all the lease paperwork, when I stepped outside for a minute to double-check my license plate number. As I was walking down the sidewalk, a man in a passing car yelled “Work it, girl, work it!” in my direction.
I’ll have you know, in case you are my mother, that I was not, in fact, working it, nor was I dressed even remotely like a prostitute. Guys are weird like that. And by weird I mean assholes. And yes, of course I mean all guys, at all times, in all situations. Assholes. Everyone knows there’s no nuance on the internet.
Anyway, I went back inside and told the girl doing our paperwork that the neighbors seemed friendly.
Exhibit 2: This morning I stopped at Chick-Fil-A for a peppermint milkshake. Two teenaged guys watched me walk past their car in the drive-through lane. “MILF!” one yelled. When I didn’t acknowledge them (partly out of shock: What did he just say? It rhymed with MILF…), the other chimed in with “Get a job!”
Okay, so the MILF part might be vaguely flattering, like, hey, I’ve still got it, if I weren’t TWENTY-FIVE YEARS OLD. Geezus.
The “get a job” was, I assume, a reference to my being out and about on a Wednesday morning. It probably never crossed their minds that a forty-something like me could possibly be on spring break.
I have to admit I’m having trouble being Zen about this MILF thing. I’m sure those boys forgot about me entirely two minutes later, but I’m still hunting for a witty retort to jazz up the slo-mo replay inside my head. “No, YOU get a job!” doesn’t have much bite to it. Suggestions?
I wonder if I’d be as agitated if they’d yelled “Fatty!” or “Whore!” or any number of potty-mouthed words that float through 16-year-old boys’ heads. Is getting old my new hot button? Last night I went to a make-up event with the taiko ladies, and it was a little frightening to hold a magnifying mirror that close to my face as the words “wrinkles” and “discoloration” were bandied about.
I guess I’ve entered the fretting-about-aging phase of womanhood. From what I’ve seen on TV, I expect this to last until I die, or at least until I have more pressing issues to worry about, like not being able to walk. Which I guess is part of aging. So . . . forever.
The point is, boys are jerks.
March 18th, 2010 at 12:30 am
I really hate getting yelled at by guys in cars. Once I was riding my bike to work and this car slowed down next to me so they could ask me what I was doing that night. Another favorite seems to be yelling and lunging at you as they drive by while you are walking on the sidewalk. I do not get it.
March 20th, 2010 at 9:33 am
Sixteen year old boys have to express their feelings in some way don’t they?
Shouting “MILF!” is really code for a desire to show you their secret poetry stash…
Unfortunately even I can’t rationalize the “get a job” comment, but I’m sure they each wrote a secret poem about the homeless-milfs-turned-working-girls crisis due to the recession later that night…
BTW, I seen your Godel Escher Bach youtube video, I was just checking out reviews etc… for it, I’m going to buy it now & it better be good or I’ll be angry @ your false advertising
April 15th, 2010 at 7:52 am
My latest related story is when I went to the library and an ~eight year old kid whistled at me. I almost turned around to say “excuse me” and put him in his place, but I was in too much shock. So is it a compliment or a horrible horrible reality of modern culture?